Hawking, Biting and Andy Rooney by Debra Sanders

BlogAlert! Yes, It has been nearly two months since I have blogged. Shame on me.

I am here at the statewide Inclusion conference in Denver--I am going to hawk my wares. This will be my first venture into the public world (as compared to my ever more dominant online world) to actually physically and shamelessly try to convince people that there is nothing they would rather do than buy one or two copies of A Matter of Panache!

In Alaska,there is a name for the people that help the mushers with their dogs, especially at race time. They are called handlers. Handlers are the ones who keep the wound up dogs from bolting in the wrong direction or from getting tangled in their lines; or simply, from becoming too distracted to focus on the event at hand. Not that I am comparing myself to a wild and rambunctious dog, but I thought I would mention that I have a handler with me at this monumental debut I am making. My friend Joyce has flown in from S.L.C. in order to help keep me organized; and to make sure I don't blubber and bolt the first time someone says, "Oh, are you the author?" Or worse--the first time I find myself sitting all alone at my table with nobody interested in looking at, much less buying, the book. It's a daunting task I am sure, to keep me focused, organized, on time, well-fed, calm, alert and not flying off into cognitive overload after 15 minutes in a public surrounding. Joyce is a very good friend. And she is an excellent handler.

Actually, now that I am mentioning handlers and dogs, it reminds me that despite all those years in Alaska, I never did get used to handlers and mushers referring to dogs as B*#*. It seemed so harsh. And one of the things I have worried about in attending this particular conference is that some of the people I spoke of in Part IV might be here...and well, although I respectfully sent each of them a copy of Panache prior to its release, I suppose that some of these people might be thinking of me as a female dog and therefore not the least bit surprised that I have a handler to keep me in line.

I would feel very badly if this turns out to be true. I mean, it really is such a harsh word.

Speaking of harsh: did you know that in New York City, approximately 1,600 people are bitten by other humans annually? I find this fact, fascinating. I mean,I have worked with a lot of biters over the years; but, believe me, every one of them has been placed on a plan of some sort or another to eliminate biting behavior.

I wonder if people in NYC are allowed to just go around biting each other without consequence?

Actually, what I really wonder is how somebody came up with this statistic. I mean, does this count all the toddlers in preschools throughout the city who bite each other when they get mad? And if so, do we now have to report toddlers who bite to the police so data can be kept on this sort of thing? And if doesn't include the toddlers, what does it mean? That some 1600 adults are displaying subway rage by biting if someone gets in their way?

Do they arrest people in NYC for biting?

I wonder if anyone out there besides me can hear Andy Rooney's voice in their head. Doesn't this just sound like the kind of thing he would sit at his desk contemplating? I have an entire Andy Rooney monologue now skipping through my brain. I wonder if I could query him and become one of his writers...

Well, with that thought, stay tuned for more on flagrant self-promotion and weird facts tomorrow. One never knows what a day of shameless hawking will bring!

Have fun out there and remember...a little panache can go a long, long way!

It's good to be back!

Debra